Category: Uncategorized


Employee welfare in Nigeria sucks!


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Employee welfare in Nigeria sucks! I keep hearing the same story from different people every single day. What companies don’t realize is that, you make more money when you make your employees happy. You should always treat your employees the way you want them to treat your highest paying customers. If you call some customer service lines in Nigeria, you will notice how tired, angry and hungry they sound. You can’t blame them. They don’t get paid enough. okay I’m talking too much..bye!

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The Nollywood Spoof Competition


M.Y: Hey guys!!! How are you all doing this evening. I am so excited today. You know why?

Leslie: Because I am here with all my awesomeness????

M.Y: Awesome kini? Abegi shift jare!!! It’s that time of the year again. The Nollywood Movie Spoof Competition is back!!!

Leslie: Last year was so awesome. I mean check out the few entries from last year we have posted in here.

M.Y: So Leslie, as the organizer of this event, tell us a few things about the event.

Leslie: So, basically, The Nollywood Movie Spoof is an annual contest of parody & spoof designs done by amazing designers all-over Nigeria (and the world), making light jokes at Nollywood movies and its famous celebs. It is sometimes taken beyond Nollywood celebs but….

M.Y: Seriously, it’s all jokes and laughs here.

Leslie: Yeah, we don’t want no lawsuits or people walking up to us in the streets like it’s our fault or anything.

M.Y: No guys seriously…it’s just jokes.

Leslie: Okay?

M.Y: Okay…Seriously.Its.All.Just.Jokes

Leslie: So basically, the Competition started like most terrible ideas; among friends. We all shared a clear distaste for the quality of many Nollywood movies.

M.Y: We figured if they couldn’t listen to us when we spoke, then they’d listen better when we designed. The competition is just 2 years old and last year we had well over 40 entries.

Leslie: So this time we’re trying to make it bigger. Here’s the catch. Turn on your laptop, Double Click on your favorite Adobe Designing tool, Take a poster, make a Nollywood spin of it, and be creative about it. Impress us with wit, awesomeness, and a few clicks and drags.

M.Y: It’s really not too much to ask for, is it?

Leslie: So the big question is this: How do I enter the Competition right? Simple. Follow the link. https://www.facebook.com/TheNollywoodSpoof Then Like the page(if you no like am, OYO) and submit your application

M.Y: Application? Is it JAMB. LOL. Submit your designs and invite your friends to like the page and like your design.  The event runs from June 23rd 2013 to August 4th. So that’s six weeks of pure fun, laffs and unbridled raw creativity.

Leslie: now there is a big surprise folks. This year, there is going to be a price for the winner of the competition. You stand a chance of winning 10,000 naira from http://www.tosanonline.com

M.Y: Yes that’s right. 10k! Just like that.

Tosan Online is a site with the initiative to not only link the seller to his prospective buyer with all ease, but also get rid of all form of stress involved. So your stress becomes theirs. They also have very reasonable rates.

So visit http://­www.tosanonline.com/ today and start promoting your products. From cosmetic products to electronics and clothing. BRING IT ALL

Leslie: I also just thought of this. It also helps to promote designers and puts them in a better light thus promoting their business. Some of the feedback we got were pretty amazing, some of the celebs contacted some of these designers. It’s really beautiful when stuff like that happens.

M.Y: Some of these works shouldn’t be on here as spoofs alone. These are the guys who will revolutionize a lot of things in Nollywood.

So yeah. Get creative, put on your thinking caps…

Leslie: Better still, put on your laptops. Thinking caps won’t design the posters.

M.Y: The people know what I meant…

Leslie: Just had to put it out there…

M.Y: Put on your…laptops and get to designing.

Anyways Here are a few examples of the kind of stuff we’re expecting so you know to come correct. Feel me?

M.Y: Like Braille brother. Like Braille. And to view a full gallery of previous years entries, follow this link.

Leslie: The event is organized by Pixel Ninjas Guild  and proudly supported by Sodas & Popcorn and Eventiso

Blinded By The Sun (Part 2)


…………

George: Haha, Ribena George? That’s what you call me?

Me: Well, that’s what I would have… only that you disappeared without a trace

George: Yeah!!! I was in the bus before I remembered I dint ask for your number

Me: Talking of numbers, how did you get my number by the way?

George:  I got it from our NYSC year book, it took me good two weeks to find your picture in that goddamn book. By the way, that picture is horrible

Me:  Hahaha, I know  right, I’m surprised you even recognized me from there

George: Well, your name isn’t that common, we had only two Sophias in the whole book

Me: So have you called the other one?

George: Not yet

(We both laughed)

George: Good to hear you laugh for once. Where are you by the way?

Me: I’m in Lagos still, job hunting, you?

George: also, in Lagos, I got retained where i served but I haven’t resumed yet

Me: Oh! Lucky you

George: Yeah! So what are you doing Friday night?

Me: Nothing really, I have an interview by 10 am afterwards, that’s it.

George: Okay, so how about we go out Friday night, you down?

Me: Sure

George: Alright then, text your Blackberry pin so we chat better

Me: Alright, no problem

George: It was really nice hearing your voice

MeOh you have no idea I mumbled

George: What was that?

Me: Nothing,  I said same here

George: Alright dear, you take care now

Me: Aii, talk to you later.

 *Hangs up*

Yayyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!

The game came back on and I lost, like I care. I sent my Blackberry pin and we chatted all day long. He filled me in on what has happened over the last months,  how he got retained. He told me he was resuming work the following Monday and wanted to visit his parents in Ibadan….blah blah

The following day I begged my sister for money ( as a broke girl 😦 ), went shopping for a new dress, made my hair in preparation for  my interview date.  Friday morning, I went for the interview, did quite well but all that was in my head was my date with George. I hurried home immediately after the interview, freshened up and slept. George was to come pick me up at 7 so I set an alarm for 5:30pm, I woke up around 4pm thanks to the SMS that came in. It was from the company I did the interview and the message read;

Congratulations Ms. Bello, this is to inform you that you were successful at the interview you had in our company. Your training commences tomorrow by 9 am at our head office in V.I. You are however required to pick up your training materials from our office today. Please note that failure to pick up your materials means you’ve forfeited the position you are being offered”

I set out immediately for their office, going their wasn’t that hard as I was against traffic but coming back wasn’t that easy,  I spent over two hours on Third Mainland bridge alone. I kept chatting with George every step of the way, I eventually got home at 10:30 pm and I had to prepare for my training. I had no choice than to cancel my date with George 😦

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

4 months of serious hard-work later, I still hadn’t seen George. My new job got me working on Saturdays and the fact that he stayed in Lekki and I, Alausa dint make things easy either. Every time we planned seeing, something would always come up. But this didn’t stop us though, George and I communicated everyday in those 4 months. We would wake each other up in the morning, chat all day on BBM, Skype too sometimes. George became my best friend and my confidant,  there was nothing I couldn’t tell him and of course I fell in love with him even though he never asked me out or ask me to be his girlfriend but he would flirt and tease me all the time (which i loved).

 By August of that year, George’s sister was to get married in their hometown, Ibadan and of course I was invited. George told me I had to be there, no excuses. I started planning on how to get a casual leave, when that din’t work out, I lied and got a 2-day sick leave on the Friday and Saturday of the wedding. Friday morning I woke up early and set out to Opebi, walked into almost all the top boutiques there looking for the perfect dress. And that time I dint have to borrow money from my sister (big girl things :p ), I got a mustard coloured body con dress with plunging neckline,  damn that dress was sexy and expensive too *whew (things you do for love) . I made my hair, mani-pedi, did a little makeover too. By 4pm, everything was perfect so I headed to Ibadan.

I picked my phone expecting to see texts and missed calls from George but all I got was some stupid happy new month BCs and a text from my sister asking for George’s phone number ( she does that all the time, someone tell her I’m no longer a teen please :>) I assumed he was busy with wedding preparations so I went on anyway. Got to Ibadan very Late due to the “Friday traffic” , and Still no word from George . It was 11pm and I was alone in a city I barely knew, I had no idea what to do. I stood there at the Park for about 10 minutes calling George and got no response still. l found an ATM, checked what I had left in my account, it was just N=6,000 , all thanks to the dress, withdrew everything. Thanks to Wikitude, i found a hotel within my vicinity. The only prayer on my mind then was that it should be affordable. I got to the hotel and checked the list, the least was # 5,000 l rushed to the receptionist and she told me l was late that the lady at the Vending machine (pointing at a lady) just got the last 5k room.

 I looked at her direction and saw a lady casually dressed in jeans and top and she was wearing the same sandals as Me (George got the sandals for me ;;)) I approached her and the first thing she noticed too was my sandals , She pointed at it saying “We match”. I smiled thinking at least she’s friendly, this should be easy.

Me: *smiling*  Hi, I know this is really weird but I’m kinda stranded…. (I explained my ordeal to my new friend)

New Friend: So what do you need exactly’ ?

Me: The Next available room is #10,000 and I have just #6,000 on me, if you can help me with just #4000, I’ll have my sister transfer it back to you first thing tomorrow morning. I promise. Intact, I can give you my phone to hold as collateral.

 New Friend: *laughing* Its not that serious now, a Z10 as Collateral for #4,000? Haba!….Look, I don’t have upto that here’ Would have gotten the room too

Me: Choii! I’m in trouble

New Friend: Calm down , what I Can do is….. you’re not a witch or a serial killer are you? She asked sarcastically

Me: No, no, Of course not

New Friend: Ok, the room I got has a living room, you can stay there while I take the room. Is that okay?

Me: Oh my God, thank you *kneeling down*

New Friend: Common stand up jor, ko le to yen, I’m guessing you’re Yoruba.

Me: Yes, I am.

New Friend: My name is Morenike by the way…

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

My phone rang around 2am and yes,it was George (*whew)

George: Baby mi toh sure

Me : Hey Georgie

George: Wassup now, I’m so so sorry I’ve been dead busy. l just got time to check my phone now and saw your missed calls. Where are you by the way, when are you coming?

Me: I’m in Ibadan already

George: Oh really? …….

Morenike came out of the room immediately my call with George ended.

Me: Oh you’re awake.  I hope I dint wake you

Moreike: No, not really, coudn’t sleep before then I heard your voice

Me: *cuts in” you aren’t scared of me are you?

Morenike: Hahaha! No… I just have something on my mind

Me: You mind sharing?

Morenike: Hmmm…. I’m actually here to surprise my boyfriend, we’ve been dating since University days. NYSC took me to Kaduna and I haven’t seen him in months, I dint tell him I was coming so I’m a little nervous.

Me: Awww…. how sweet

Morenike: Yeah he’s a good one. He had these sandals delivered to me in Kaduna (pointing at her sandals by the door) just to celebrate me getting a good PPA. Yeah, George is a good one….

😛 😛 😛